Abandoned.

I found some things I wrote months ago, I though I might share some of them to prove that none of this happened over night.

9-20
Well, I guess I am healing. Everyday seems like it is getting a little bit harder. I put on a fake smile and walk with courage and faith. One day, maybe I will believe it.  Everyone is a ghost to me...I feel so far away from home. They say it will get better, but  I just can't see it. I want my life. I am tired of struggling.  All I feel like doing is running away.  God, where are you? My pleas are unheard, my life is forgotten. I have been abandoned.

There are more but I won't put them on here because they reveal a little more than I would like to share to those who do not know what is going on.

Lyrics..
Another day in this carnival of souls
another night ends, ends as quickly as it goes
The memories are shadows; ink on the page
and I can't seem to find my way home.
and it's almost like, your heaven's trying everything
to keep me out.

I can't say what I feel today. I am a little numb.